We all, more of less, carry the pain of turning life into a serious thing, something to be solved. And by doing so losing touch with the light-heartedness play and pure joy of simply living. 

We were fed with so many ideas during our childhood, and still constantly, about HOW to live.

”What job to get, What food to eat and not eat, How to structure a day, What school to get into and what to study, How much money to have and where in the world to live, What our interest should be, How to behave in a social situation…” 

The list is endless…. 

All these ideas and concepts we believe to be true, even take to be our own, is blocking our inner voice and makes life about reaching a goal – “a job to achieve”.

Everything is over there, in the future – Making a to-do-list, being effective, paying rent, shopping for food, structuring, planning, fitting in meetings and calculating our next move in our career. 

The problem is not that we structure and plan, it is very useful during times, but that when we engage in reaching our goals we are forgetting the present moment – which is the source of our natural spontaneous, playful and creative self. Living in a ”correct and optimal” way have turned out to be more important in modern society than enjoying life as the celebration it is – because it is less useful. 

PLAY IS NOT FOR ANYTHING ELSE THEN FOR ITS OWN SAKE

We only engage in the things that can bring us closer to our goals and we have a goal for everything. Even meditation becomes a goal. And when we are goal oriented we lose our presence and we forget. We forget ourselves. We forget how to play. 

For most of us, this longing for joy, childish spontaneous playfulness, celebration and light-heartedness awakens a deep pain, so profound that we close down. Instead we work harder, become harder, less vulnerable and less alive. Striving for that moment when we have reached our life goals and we can finally rest and enjoy. 

And then what? When we have reached our goals? When we are free from all the “living-up-to”, what do we do then? 

WE ARE MISSING IT – LIFE

Every moment we are engaging in a goal we, to some extent, reject the present moment and we lose contact with ourselves. Because a goal is always in the future and we only exist in the present moment. This is our deepest pain – the sensation of separation inside and with life. The sense that we are missing life. 

Let’s say you are walking home from work. You don’t necessarily dislike your job but still you are excited to be done for the day and are really looking forward to lay down on your sofa, see your favorite show and be cozy with your partner. When you step out of the office, the sun is shining and there is a light breeze. Just above you a bird is singing in the spring time and you pass by the market full of colorful fruits and blossoming flowers. 

But you don’t see it. You don’t pay attention. You are already imagining the fluffy pillows in your sofa. You rush to make it over the street before the light switches to red and when you don ́t you find yourself irritated. You don’t like to be irritated so you blame the couple in front of you for walking so slowly, mumbling in your mind about and that kissing and holding hands can wait until they are home in the sofa. You silently curse at them before engaging in judging yourself for being so easily annoyed and that you should be more relaxed. This does not make you relaxed, it makes you more tense and now the sofa is the only thing you can think of. 

The city life becomes a problem, children playing on the street becomes a blockage for your path. And more than that. The children playing on your street reminds you of yourself and that light-heartedness you used to feel when you where playing in the sunset with your smaller sister. The joy of being just there, no where else, being dissolved into the play, absorbed by the moment, and no time at all had passed when your mother screamed that dinner was ready. 

And you think to yourself: Those were the good years. When I did not have any responsibilities and all I could do was play. Now life is so dull and serious all the time. Growing up is really no fun at all and to think that I wanted that so much a few years ago. 

Then you go to your sofa, burying the uneasy feeling in your stomach and the deep longing in your heart – putting on the TV, defending yourself against the pain of your loss of play by resonating and telling yourself that ”There is no time for play when you are an adult. This is just how it is and you better suck it up”. 

PLAY DOES NOT HAVE ANY GOAL

How can we play if we are not present? Play is a quality of presence. It is the exploration and the simple joy of being alive. It is the discovery of life without any goal. As soon as we have a goal, there is no play. Play does not have any purpose, except for the enjoyment of it. 

HOW DO WE RETURN TO PLAY?

So to return to this precious place of play and pure joy, we need to practice presence. Only when we let go of our goals, we can be in the present moment. Where is there to go anyway? To read more about living in presences, read my post on “Inquiry – the journey is the purpose”.

INVITATIONS FOR SELF INQUIRY PRACTICES INTO PRESENCE AND THE QUALITY OF PLAY

• A daily practice is to stop, notice our surroundings and sense our body:

1. Notice that you are trapped in goal orientation. 
2. Stop. 
3. Make a conscious choice to wake up to where you are in the world. 
4. Use your senses, listen to sounds, sense your body. 
5. Take in the environment and see what you enjoy to watch. 
6. Let go of our goal. If only for a second. 
7. Ask yourself, ”If I could do anything I wanted in this moment, what would I do?” You don’t need to do it, only sense the possibility of that. The expansion and the thrill. Sense the spontaneity and aliveness inside you. 

• A weekly practice could be to engage in an activity that holds no other purpose then the enjoyment of it. And if you don’t know what that could be, to try different things and explore it. A great example of such a practice is art.

• Schedule non-scheduled time where you can practice to be totally spontaneous. If only an hour a week! 

• Another practice can be to picture yourself as little and see yourself playing and sensing into the energy of that, embody it through either movement or a picture. Or simply sitting with the visualisation and sensing your physical body. 

To deepen your presence I can also recommend the “Unfolding Now: Realizing your true nature through the practice of presence” by A. H. Almaas, Find it here!