TWO PATHS

We can either choose to live from fear or from a space of love. Where there is fear, there is attachment, resistance, wants – no freedom. And love, love is totally free. Without any attachment, wants and resistance.

Love is a YES, unconditionally – without any if or but´s…

In today’s society we mix up wanting someone and love. When we want something we have a goal in mind, we are attached to a specific outcome and we will act unconsciously to try to manipulate or control reality and others in a way so that we get what we want. We are afraid to lose our partner so we see ourselves and our wants instead of our partner. 

WE CREATE WHAT WE FEAR 

When we act from this space of fear we are, paradoxically, most often creating what we fear, like we are unconsciously manifesting it in reality. Human beings are very sensitive to any kind of manipulation and wants, such a deep need to be free, and we tend to sense when our partner comes from this space and we move away. Because in the relating from fear there is no space for what is – identification with fear means that we want reality to look in a different way that it looks. So we want our partner to be, act, say and feel in a specific way – we are unable to be with what is there because we are in resistance to everything that does not fit our wants. 

LOVE DOES NOT HAVE ANY WANTS 

Love is the quality of allowance, of inclusion – it can even include fear, but fear can not include love. So when we choose to act from fear we leave our hearts and move into the future. Fear is always in the future, something that might happen, if even one second later which means that we are not only rejecting the present moment by wanting it to change we also neglect it by focusing into the future. 

Life is the present moment. Nothing more. Everything fits in the NOW. Either we can connect or disconnect, tap in or tap out, check in our check out, show up or not. 

Love is not a movement somewhere, it is beyond any preferences, it does not choose side or have any wants. We love because we can, not because it will give us something. That is why we can not love our partner if we want something from him/her. 

A RELATIONSHIP OR LOVE?

Love is neither to mix up with a relationship. It is two very different things. Love is love and a relationship is an agreement. I want things from my relationship, I have needs and intentions for engaging in one. A relationship is an opportunity to live the quality of love but the two do not necessarily go hand in hand. And sometimes leaving a relationship can be the most loving thing to do. Love does not hold on. Fear holds on. Love does not need anything to flower and grow, it is dependent on anything. The more we practice to let go, freeing ourselves from fear – the more we can be open to reconnect to the quality of love. 

INVITATIONS FOR SELF INQUIRY INTO LOVE:

• Inquiry questions series: What is love? What is right with avoiding love? Tell me a way you experience love right now? 

• What is your intention with engaging in an intimate relationship? 

• Open ended inquiry with a friend: Explore what your fears in an intimate relationship is? Stop and notice your body during your exploration and see if you can allow your physical sensations. (You can describe them to your partner/friend you are practicing with if it supports you in staying connected)

• Practice to notice your fear in everyday life : How does it feel in your body? What thoughts can you notice? Practice to turn inwards and meet yourself and the part of you in fear with loving presence, like a little child. Simply allowing it to be there.