When engaging in a spiritual practice it is easy to get trapped by, what I like to refer to as, The Spiritual Inner Critic. This character is very tricky and a bit different from the “normal” Inner Critic, since it often sounds so reasonable. It gives us tips and its opinion about our practice and evaluates how well we are doing it and often (often not) in the most subtle ways. For example it can sound something like this:

“You should be present” 

“You should be able to just feel whatever you are feeling in this moment” 

“Why are you not relaxed?” 

“You should not be watching this lousy movie, you are just escaping”

Observe that it is not the message it sends us but the energy it comes with – condecenting, judgmental, harsh, attacking – and it is runned by a spiritual ideal, which is yet another ideal and not the loving holding space of Being. These messages needs to be questioned just like any other ideal or idea we have. How do I know it is true that it would be better if I was relaxed in this moment? Maybe, maybe not. The truth is that I don `t know and in a deeper sense it is not even up to me. What is true is that I have a preference about being relaxed and that in that moment I am not. Not being relaxed is not a problem. A problem is always based on wanting something that is not here in reality and built on our preferences/seeking for pleasure and the avoidance of pain – a very natural inbuilt patterns in the human being and something I can relate to, have compassion for, understand. 

LIFE HAPPENS IN A “YES”

For me the spiritual path is about moving away from judgement and into allowance – the natural space of Being or the Heart. Through Zen Coaching I learnt to include also my resistance to reality and it took me out of the trap of judging my own judgements. Allowance is a “yes” to what is and if what is is that I have resistance towards my uncomfortable sensations that is what is true and I can say “yes” to that. 

Just like the Inner Critic the Spiritual Inner Critic is coming from a “no”. 

RESOURCING 

I can not emphasize the importance of this enough because I see it in so many people in the realm of meditation practice, including myself – Presence is the healer. Presence is space. When there is no space around our experience no healing is happening. We are simply sitting with our pain and we are suffering, it is not the sweet kind of transformative pain. Because really we are in a “no” to our experience and coming from a “should”. When we are in an overwhelmed state, which means there is no space we need to turn our attention towards RESOURCES. A resource is something that reconnects you to inner spaciousness. This also offers our body a down regulation and a discharge that is necessary for our nervous system to function in its natural flow. It also offers us the space to BE WITH our experience. 

THE WARRIORS PRACTICE OF CONSCIOUS ESCAPING 

A true warrior always checks with him/herself what is needed in the moment and does not move from any idea about what should be happening and are well aware of his/her own limits. I see this as a maturance process where we become capable to balance our own inner process – knowing when to stay and when to not. This does not mean always escaping, it means I check if I have the space – I challenge myself to the point where I also take responsibility for my own capacity in each moment. Basically I am not acting from an inner should or push. 

And when a warrior chooses to escape and look for resources he/she does it consciously. Meaning I am aware that I am escaping in this moment – I am watching, noticing, I am here seeing myself and my patterns. There is allowance for not being able to meet myself, which is also meeting myself. The light of consciousness is all that is needed for transformation to happen and when we see something deep enough, it transforms by itself. It is simply an effect of understanding in what ways we are creating our own suffering. 

This practice also includes exploring in what way I can “best escape” since there is more or less beneficial ways to escape our experience, just for example: watching a lousy romantic comedy or drinking two bottles of wine. 

I am personally very passionate about this and how to create a sustainable life built on balance and enjoying the process. 

SOME SIMPLE STEPS HOW TO PRACTICE:

• Starting to becoming aware about when and how the inner spiritual critic operates

• Start to check with yourself in the moments when you are challenged if you have the space to stay with it or not (Being honest is a key ingredients here but we do not wish to push ourselves in any way) 

• Find the “yes” to your resistance when it is alive 

• Practice to consciously escape when you find yourself in a pattern of escaping by honestly noticing yourself without engaging in judgements about it and without turning away or avoiding it. Simply watch!

• You can also start to say inturnely to yourself when noticing that your escape patterns are getting activated “Now I am choosing to escape for a while and I will do so by…(plus the activity)” 

• Explore more beneficial ways to consciously escape 

I would love to hear some reflections or comments how this was for you to read so please share!!