WHAT SPEAKING FROM THE HEART TRULY MEANS

We often hear this sentence, at least if you are involved in spiritual or personal growth work. But what does it really mean? 

This is the answer I got when I let my heart speak this morning. 

The areas of the body, the different energy centers all have their unique vibrations and sounds. Therefore we can literally speak from the heart center in our bodies by tuning into the vibration and tone of that area. You can feel the resonance in your body and its effects on the field in the meeting with another. 

This, in it ́s turn, also affects the words you speak. And here comes the magic. When we sense our heart center as we speak, the words will sound and feel differently for the person receiving them. Even though it is not visible to the eye, which most of the beautiful things in life aren’t, and we might not consciously notice it – we still feel it. 

Often the effect is that we soften, we feel safe and we relax. It is also easier for us to express ourselves authentically and be vulnerable. Both because all of our hearts long for connection and the main ingredients for that is authenticity and vulnerability – if you can even separate them. This all is a natural happening, we do not need to think about it. When we relax and feel safe to not be judged or attacked we start to connect with ourselves more deeply and then we have access to more of ourselves and start to share more openly. Did it ever happen to you that you found yourself sharing things you normally don’t? And you don’t understand how come. It surprises you. That is the space of the heart, loving allowance. 

The most beautiful with this is that it can not be faked. We will know, something will feel off. It is not a tool to learn so that we can use it to gain something. The magic will be lost. It is however a practice we can bring into our lives and start to notice. 

I have been working with and studying a lot of NonViolent Communication and the intention with that is not to say the right thing, to use the right words and put them together in the right order so that we can be understood or get our opinions across without causing conflict. The intention is to learn how to notice where you are speaking from inside of yourself. Where am I coming from. We can study our language, the way we speak when learning to differentiate but then we need to let go of everything we learnt. 

Another important point of speaking from the heart, and I often meet this as a misunderstanding, is that it does not always look or sound very soft. Love is not always fluffy and flowing softness. Compassion is the quality of the heart that offers you the capacity to be with pain, in order to see the truth. Because the heart loves the truth – they are lovers. So the heart does not only love truth, it also knows truth. Which means that compassion will respond in a way that supports seeing truth. So when we are intune with our hearts and grounded in our bellies here on earth, we can sense truth. And this becomes our orientation, naturally. 

So the heart has many capacities – to be with pain, love for truth, to create authentic connection, to allow whatever shows up which offers us openness and a sense of feeling safe and depth. The heart is the gateway to the depth of our souls. That is why when we separate from a loved one and our hearts breaks – breaks open – we go deeper, we find more space inside of ourselves to be with others and to see beauty in the world, we become more capable to love. See natural pain and beauty goes hand in hand. What we most deeply love we will also most deeply mourn and if we allow ourselves to be with that pain, to give our hearts space to mourn the lost we experience as human beings, because nothing was ever lost in our souls, we open up in the most magical and beautiful ways. 

So when I say speak from your heart, this is what I mean. It is not a quick fix of going from conflict to solution or from shame to empathy. It is one of the deepest places in our being and it needs to be experienced – as a felt sense in our bodies. 

When we include our blockages, they stop to be blockages. They start to be the path. And this work is not to learn how to love – it is to investigate and be curious about what stops me from being in my heart, start asking myself and others the question: What happened to you? How are you? This is the paradox, which we in depth always end up in, that when we start loving the parts, places, patterns in us which are not loving but rather judgmental, dark, attacking, greedy, cold and inauthentic they transform. Seeing the truth transforms us, no other job needed, and to be able to do so because often it hurts we need love, compassion, allowance. When we are offered that from ourselves or from another everything in us that we pushed away will surface – to be seen, loved, included. 

The work is to unlearnt what we learnt about what it means to be human and start to reclaim our humanity from a place that celebrates vulnerability and understands that transformation can only happen from love.